Lancaster reportedly had a high suicide rate for students throwing themselves off “the tower”. I had little difficulty in understanding why.
Category: The Wanderluster
Sex certainly went out of the window. This new breed were in bed early, yes – to sleep and be rested sufficiently in order to arrive bright eyed and bushy tailed for the 9am session about HDTV. Jeez. In my day, they hadn’t even called last orders at the George Hotel at 9am.
She started to sweat profusely, then went into a kind of shaking tremor where I could see she had lost consciousness. Fainting, or a heart attack? I summoned up the zero amount of medical training I have and started to fan her profusely with the inflight magazine.
I’ve always been fascinated by history, especially the Romans who I have always admired for their building abilities, which they managed to fit in between eating grapes, shagging each other senseless, and killing each other in amphitheatres.
IKEA is like giving birth (I imagine): it’s hell while you’re going through it, but the end product is well worth the wait.
I realised it’s always been there in the lyrics, but revisiting the show in 2024, it took on a new resonance. As ‘Swiftians’ hit the headlines on a daily basis, worshiping their idol, Taylor Swift, I was struck by the ‘Christians’ comparison. A cult following.
Packing for my nomadic lifestyle went badly. I have two cases, stuffed to the gills, and I’ve optimistically brought my make-up and best Issey Miyake outfits, even though nothing I have read about nomadism mentions designer fashion.
Not being able to understand a single word of a language is unnerving, but it’s possible to quickly get over that by remembering that most of what comes out of people’s mouths in the language I do speak is utter bollocks anyway.
If I’d been a Roman, I’d have said: Stuff it. I’ll be dead soon. Bring me another bunch of grapes and a wench to shag. Failing that, a bloke in a toga. I’m really not fussy.
T
Today, I leave the hotel where the shower shares its space with the toilet (I swear that standing in the toilet bowl and flushing would be easier than navigating the shower) and head to an Air BnB for a week. Oh, what fresh hell awaits me there.