The States is far more graphic than the UK on BTW (Below The Waist) problems both for men and women. In the UK, women’s monthly cycles on TV are still represented by somebody pouring colored ink on an all too absorbable material, as opposed to showing the reality, which is an orifice capable of hosting a veritable Epson ocean of ink.
On Christmas morning, we all used to go to the neighbours for pre-dinner drinks. The turkey would have been prepared and stuffed early in the morning – the giblets pulled out for stock, the inside of “the bird” dried out with a tea-towel, accompanied by Mum shouting at Dad “You know I hate it being called the bird!” What was it with her and birds, I wonder?
Bravo held out for Jax as long as it could; but in our current times, a verbally abusive, promiscuous man with an uncontrolled temper – and a thief, to boot – is not good news for any broadcaster whose priority is protecting its brand.
The smallness of the list was heartbreaking. Already, the record of my father’s last weeks had filled several small, black notebooks: his last Christmas, his final trip into ward 18 at Frenchay Hospital, the last time I saw him when, with an attempt at a normal smile, he told me that he loved me.
What does a spouse do? Put the trash out? Phone the insurance company when they refuse to pay out? Phone the police when your iPad’s been stolen (again)? Put an arm around you when you cry?
If you read nothing else, ever, read this.
There are basically just two questions people want answered when going online: who’s dead and who’s s****ing whom: coffins and bonkings.
Heck, Windows 2021 is almost upon us, and with no Christmas parties to hone their pulling skills, men are going to find leaner pickings as they lose out to hungrier (and richer) rivals.
This year, I’m having a quiet one by myself (though quite why I felt the need to order a 12lb turkey is anybody’s guess). As we draw to the end of a terrible year, there is still so much to be grateful for. I am alive, for starters.
I always fancied Blake myself, but I have an aversion to beards, so it was never a goer. Add to that the fact that I am not an international superstar, beautiful, and boasting a stunning figure, but hey, details, details.