EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME THIS WEEK – SO, I…
- Gained a pound – in weight, and also on the stock exchange, where I feel I am no Elon Musk.
- Watched snow falling. Then watched it melt.
- Bought a ton of clinque.com cosmetics online and yet still don’t look like Emilia Clarke, who is advertising their new serum-based foundation. I was caught the same way (many times) with onboard shopping on virginatlantic.com, when Eva Longoria was advertising esteelauder.com mascara in the magazine. I continue to look nothing like her, either.
- Did some much-needed FaceTime (not the clinique.com) with family and friends.
- Bought a ton of bobbibrowncosmetics.com make-up, as I could see no celebrity endorsement and would not spend the rest of the week being depressed because I don’t look like Emilia Clarke.
- Watched three episodes of Russell T. Davies’s channel4.com series, It’s a Sin. I’ve been saying for months that Covid has reminded me of the Eighties and Aids – in particular, the conspiracy theorists and lack of government information. The drama has hit the zeitgeist.
- Went house shopping online to Croatia, Valencia, Barcelona, Paris, the Gower Coast, Bordeaux… I couldn’t afford anything, so I stayed in and opened another bottle of wine.
- Vacuumed the blackheads in my nose with my new device that has finally cured a lifelong blemish. I used another battery-operated device to shave the hair from my upper lip, which makes me a dead ringer for a German dictator every morning (can’t name him, because algorithms pick up on the name and put me on the naughty step, assuming I am a sympathizer).
- Spent a sleepless night worrying about how I would spend the Mega Millions lottery if I won it. Plastic surgery to make me look like Eva Longoria topped the list. For the record, I didn’t win.
- Sent off my forms to audition for the US version of nbc.com/the-voice. I’m not joking.
- Spent a sleepless night worrying about whether I wanted to spend months in Vegas when I get my residency there after winning The Voice. Sometimes, I think I worry too much.
- Had lunch with my dear, and mega talented musician friend, Emiliano. We managed just an appetizer before the outdoor dining in NYC (indoors at 25% returns on February 14th) started to give us frostbite. I think I started calling him Melania, owing to the difficulty of uttering so many syllables in sub-zero temperatures.
- Went to the Roosevelt Bar (in Hudson Valley Food Hall), my local in Beacon, NY. Felt so grateful for indoor dining upstate, even at just 50% capacity. There was also live music on Wednesday night. I am grateful for every atom of normality at the moment.
- Thought I might buy a dog.
- Decided not to have a dog because I could well be 79 when it dies, if it lives as long as our others did. Heck, it could end up having to organize my funeral.
- Tried to follow the stock exchange drama unfolding with reddit.com and http://robinhood.com. The latter seemed not to have done their homework, as they ended up giving more to the rich.
- Watched the pound rise to its highest against the dollar in three years.
- Watched the pound go down against the dollar again.
- Wrote a novel.
- Lied about having written a novel.