Team Ben or Team Jen? Which side are you on?

As the Bennifer marriage heads for the divorce courts, it’s inevitable that we, who know absolutely nothing about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s relationship, stick our two penn’orth in.

I’m team Ben all the way. Always have been. Although I’ve never understood how Lopez could kiss someone who smokes so much, I understand less how he could entertain even a minute with a woman who acts so entitled everywhere she goes.

Actually, that’s the only thing she can act, because she certainly has zero talent when it comes to the real meaning of the word.

I mean, have you seen Maid in Manhattan (2002)? Dear lord, it’s bad. And I mean really, really bad.

And then, just as you think she couldn’t top two decades of mediocrity with something even worse, along comes Marry Me (2022), which makes Maid in Manhattan look like Gone with the Wind.

On screen, Lopez manages to dilute every scene with the kind of staring into the middle-distance expression that appears barely a breath away from rigor mortis.

Off screen tales of her demanding behaviour are legendary. I have no idea whether she can sing, because life is too short to give her airtime – my airtime.

I don’t even think she’s that beautiful – certainly not compared to her fellow Latin American stunner Eva Longoria Bastón, who is not only stunning but a sublime actor and committed to incredible charity work.

But if there is one thing that makes me come down so firmly on the side of Affleck, it’s Lopez’s latest money-making scheme, Delola cocktails, launched just over a year ago.

Affleck’s struggle with alcohol issues are well documented and contributed towards the break-up of his first marriage to Jennifer Garner. It must be tough for him, watching his wife’s enjoyment as she sips away, without a care in the world, extolling the delights of alcohol, knowing that he can’t touch a drop – not without facing the consequences, anyway.

‘Whenever people come to my house, they’re always mixing drinks,’ she said in an interview when launching the product. Really? Are they? Talk about rubbing Affleck’s face in it.

I know people who drink but who are living with alcoholics, and they go to enormous efforts not only to keep their homes free of alcohol, but also to keep temptation out of their partner’s way by monitoring the time they spend around drinkers in social situations. It sounds Draconian, and some alcoholics are quite at ease in a drinking environment (take EastEnders’ Phil Mitchell!), but many are not. Affleck is certainly one of them.

It’s been reported that it is this latest venture that was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Affleck, and who can blame him. Lopez says that she wanted Delola ‘to be something that’s easy to pour over ice, and drink.’

Forget the ice; it’s made a glacier of her marriage.

Just when you thought Marry Me was the bottom of the barrel, she manages to go JLower.

Stupidity, or greed?

Either way, I’m #TeamBen.