The banana is sitting on my kitchen counter unit.
I want to eat it.
I love bananas.
My dad loved bananas.
I love them hot, cooked in sherry and topped with cream. I love them cold and sliced on corn flakes or hot breakfast oats. I love them mashed on toast with honey on the top.
But today, all I’m doing is staring at the banana. I want it, but I just can’t move my backside to walk to where it’s sitting, pick it up and peel it.
The day passes. Then another. And another. And another. The banana is still there, browning in the tanning salon of my kitchen.
A week later, the banana and I are locked in a staring contest that will define its fate. To my right is the final audition of the fruit as it resists the final death throes and almost inevitable rigor mortis.
To my left is the kitchen bin.
I chuck it.
Goodbye, Mr Banana.
The truth? I just couldn’t be arsed to peel it.
Do you have those days, or even weeks, when even the simplest task seems a mountain too high to climb? The bin that’s overflowing because unlocking the door and putting it out for collection is a marathon you just can’t face?
When your diary is sitting on your bookshelf six feet away, but it’s easier to say ‘Alexa, what day is it?’? That hour when you delay putting your bedding in the washing machine because you know you’ll be wrestling with the duvet cover when it’s dry and pull a muscle trying to get it back on? When you don’t turn the dishwasher on overnight because you know you’ll only have to empty it in the morning?
I’m having a lot of those days at the moment. I’ve made no secret of the fact I find life very difficult financially these days, but then most people I talk with are experiencing the same. Others are struggling with illness – their own, or that of family members or friends – or bereavement. Some have unexpectedly become unemployed.
It’s not easy out there.
I Googled what might be preventing me from peeling the banana and learnt that ‘The most accurate psychological and clinical term for the inability or extreme resistance to face simple, everyday tasks is executive dysfunction.’
That’s a new one on me.
There’s more: ‘It means your brain’s “management system” – which handles planning, focusing, and initiating actions – is overwhelmed, making even small chores feel incredible difficult. This is commonly associated with ADHD, burnout, depression, or chronic stress.’
So, I did an ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) test. Nope. Don’t have it. I might have just gone off bananas.
Isn’t it just a symptom of our suffering from information overload now? Does it need a label? No matter how much we try to push out the news, turn our TVs off and pretend the world is not a complete shithole at the moment, the evidence that it is still screams at us on an hourly basis.
Our brains are so overloaded with the Big Stuff, the Small Stuff becomes just a step too far.
I now can’t escape some ghastly AI monstrosity called Co-Pilot that appears on my Microsoft 365 account, asking if I’d like it to put my thoughts into word form. Who’s the f*****g writer, here for f***’s sake!
But I thought I’d try it with The Banana Dilemma, so typed in: ‘Why can’t I be arsed to peel my banana?’
This is what it had to say . . .
‘Honestly? It’s probably not about the banana.’
No shit, Sherlock.
There’s more.
‘What you’re describing is super common . . . Your brain is basically saying Yeah, I want the banana…but not enough to initiate the tiny effort of peeling it.’
Oh, and there’s even more. Much, much more.
And, at the end of it all: ‘You’re just being a normal human being who can’t be bothered.’
Which is what I said in the first place.
I can’t be arsed.
Sometimes, Co-Pilot, a banana’s just a banana.
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