Here we go again. Families, families, families. The Government’s Great British Summer Savings drive, aimed at . . . yes, families and kids.
Whoopee! The country’s procreators par excellence will be able to enjoy cheaper children’s meals in restaurants, tickets to cinemas and theatres, and entry to a whole host of other attractions when, over the summer, VAT will temporarily be cut to help reduce the cost of days out.
But not for me – again. A single pensioner who benefits from nothing other than a cost price funeral plan if I book early to avoid disappointment.
What do I get as a single person? Nada. As per usual. Minimal help with heating costs, screwed with just a 25% reduction in Council tax when a family of . . . name your number . . . three, five, ten, pays just 25% more.
Why are there never any breaks for single, childless people? At 67, I’m still working hard and, like many others, helping hold up the economy and am no drain on the state. Yet when it comes to handouts, we get absolutely nothing.
Yes, I get it. Families need support – but so do the rest of us, and singles (especially older singles) come bottom of the list when the Government seeks to improve people’s lives.
Take Keir Starmer\s efforts to restore the Erasmus education exchange scheme, which in 2027 will ease young people’s movements between EU countries. I’m someone who travels a lot and have lived in several places in the EU, but now, restricted to the 90/180 day rule post-Brexit, can’t. The only way to be able to do it is to live in an EU country with a visa, but even then, other countries’ rules will still apply the 90/180 day rule.
Even at 67, I would welcome the opportunity to broaden my education, see new countries and travel extensively. But now such blessings are yet again being bestowed only upon the young.
I love seaside funfairs, but the cost of rides nowadays makes them prohibitive. Are rides per se being reduced, but only for children? These days, I can barely afford an ice cream, so how about giving me a cost price ticket, too?
As a single, you can forget a summer cruise. The cost of a single cabin (exorbitant at the best of times) rockets in July and August. Fancy a week around the Greek Islands and Croatia with Explorer of the Seas July 25th to August 1st? Nice, though hardly a snip at $2048 per person. By yourself? A mere $4229. So not just double the amount but another $133 on top.
Go onto cruisebooking.com and there’s not even the option of booking for one.
Nearly every wine tour and boat excursion I’ve looked at for this coming summer in Europe is for a minimum of two people and, quite simply, you pay double if you want to go it alone.
One of my great joys is eating out, but come summertime, that too becomes a chore. During less busy times, in Spain you can usually persuade a restaurant to give you a smaller version of the paella advertised ‘between two’ (which it nearly always is). In the summer, forget it. Two’s company, one’s a pain in the neck.
In France, you’ll never get to eat the Chateaubriand (always ‘for two’) by yourself, summer or not. But then as I have found that country so accommodating to me, as a single diner, I’m leaving them off my hit list.
Most single people on holiday spend more than couples do. We’re the last to leave the bar (just me?) and, given the chance, will order the best food, because to us, it’s a treat for all our hard work the rest of the year.
So, for any other singles frustrated by the little people who, this summer, will be having a ball as your coffers get drained, here’s some advice.
- Don’t try to blag a children ride for free spin on the Waltzer by wearing a back to front baseball cap. You will still look 67.
- When asked what you’d like to drink, order a really, really expensive bottle of wine. Trust me. They’ll be so willing to give you the Chateaubriand, they’ll be leading a cow to the table and handing you a carving knife.
- Tip generously. They’ll remember you and, the next night, give you the best table while that family of four stands outside, queueing in the rain.
- Don’t give up the expensive seat you’ve paid for on an airline for a crying child. They’ll shut up eventually and learn, like the rest of us, that sometimes, life sucks.
- Stay home. You’re single and broke, paying for the lifestyle of breeders. Nothing but debt awaits you after your summer break.
If you enjoyed this post, you can buy me a coffee here (it’s really wine). Click below: